I’m so high.. I can see heaven.
February 27th, 2008 2 Comments»Wordcount: 242
I’m unable to sleep. I have so much on my mind. I am not at liberty to talk about it here, I feel my every word here is being watched, criticized.. I don’t really feel like being “punished” for saying the wrong thing. So, for now, I’ll keep it to myself. For Now. Maybe things will be easier after tomorrow. Who knows.
Anyways, I am kind of in the process of moving my collective site from Coveted.Net to Starblend.Org. I don’t know when this will be done because I may not be around for awhile, but I am trying to get everything situated. It’s been very hard to concentrate on anything lately and I find my mind wandering too often. I also find myself crying more than any person should. But what can I do? I just want this nightmare/roller coaster to be over.
I keep so much to myself, bottled up so that no one really knows me inside and out. I’m not allowed to be myself anymore. Just this shell of a person that once existed. This fake character he created that he wants me to be. Well, for what it’s worth.. I did try to be that person. But it’s just not me. Why should I have to change myself? I don’t really think I should. Part of this is the bipolar talking. I know that.. but most of it is just pure emotional hell. That is all..
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Thanks :)
*HUGS* No you shouldn’t have to change yourself for someone else, only for yourself if you don’t like who you are. That’s awful that you feel you need to censor yourself and that no on really knows you. I think you might want to go with some password protected posts and just let it all out. It might help what you’re feeling. I’m sorry you’re going through some hard times hon. I’m here for you if you need to talk to someone.
hey sweetie! OH WOW, I AM BI-POLAR ALSO. i know how you feel about the relationship and this. so IM me okay!!!! we can talk whenever ya need to. you can relate to me!
i am here for you!